Learn from the opposite

Learn from the opposite

Do you prosper when you have people around you with whom you can share every spontaneous idea?

Or do you recharge your batteries in silence and solitude?

Things get really interesting when two opposites – extroverts and introverts – meet.

Every person has a unique and highly personal combination of introversion and extroversion.

These qualities are not set in stone; they are tendencies that can change in any given situation or phase of life. No one is 100% introverted or extroverted;

usually one of the two qualities prevails.

You probably have some idea about how much introversion or extroversion you are, whether you get your energy mainly for your inner world, or from your interaction with others. People with mainly extroverted tendencies are often found in large groups, are enthusiastic and never stuck for words. When you are extrovert, you usually feel no discomfort in social situation the way many others do.

You excel at making contacts and initiating conversations. You have trouble getting people’s undivided attention for you and the things you have here to say. When you enter a room, all doom and gloom goes right out the window. The downside of all these strong points is that extroversion

can slide off towards superficiality.

And when extrovert is banking his or her own drum a bit too loudly, other people are drowned out.

Introverts may surprise other people with original thoughts, striking philosophies and playful daydreams. These thoughts are often the results of hours spend in tranquillity and re flexion. The ideas of introverted people may be manifested as books, letters, paintings or poems – things that can be created without other people’s intervention. Introverts have a talent for being alone, with added luxury of choosing their contacts based on quality.

Introverts are often sincere attention.

Many of them posses the gift of listening without interrupting or showing signs of listening without interrupting or showing signs of restless. However, introverts may tend to withdraw too far into themselves and become hermits.

Inwards and outwards

the first thing that is visible about introversion and extroversion is a behaviour.

Underneath it is a deeper dimension: energy. The energy of an extrovert is oriented outwards. flows towards other people, towards the attraction of new situation and impressions. This flow of energy is returned to its sender many time stronger. The outside world gives an extrovert the energy that feeds his or her and give fulfilment and pleasure. If you have more introverted personality, the revere is true. Your energy is mainly focused on your inner world. You created your own flow of thought , fantasies and intricate plans deep inside yourself.

The energy offered by introverts to their own inner world multiplies to flows of energy meet.

In relationships and sexuality, one type of energy turns out to be the most powerful:


Learning about the influence of introversion and extroversion your relationships very worthwhile is an essential step towards understanding and accepting yourself and others. We often look for similarities in our friendships and love relationship, but in fact, many people prosper in relationship precisely because they are differences. In energetic psychology , opposite ,opposites are regarded as the domain of excellent opportunities for magical discoveries, inner growth and self-development. The famous Swiss Carl Jung even stated

That the things that lie hidden deep within our psyche can only be brought to life when we meet opposites. Opposites invite us to discover manifested energy inside ourselves and put it in motion. There is something magical about that attraction.

A little voice inside you whispers: what is it that attracts me in this other person?

And what attracts the other person in me?

Many similarities

When you think about your friendship and relationships, now and in the past, you will soon find the necessary contrasts in addition to the shared interests. The cautious thinker versus the candid talker. The social life and soul of the part versus the person looking for one meaningful conversation. Apparently, the opposites introvert and extrovert benefit from each other, but they can evoke major irritation or even complete revolution. wouldn’t it be wiser to look for someone similar to yourself, particularly in serious relationship? You’d most think so, but similarities have their draw back too. What happens when two introverts meet? Their relationship can have a very slow start, or even be nipped in the bud. People who world will be slow to make contact with another person. But when the two introverts are throw together through circumstance, or have “ recognize “ each other, it often seems a match made in heaven. They read books together in privacy of their own home. They walk in the wood, not seeking they enjoying the sound and the smell. The downside for a couple for whom the outside world has no attraction is the danger of social isolation. Another danger is that communication between two introverts can imperceptibly come to a half if neither takes the trouble to initiate a conversation. By way of contrast, two people with extroverted preferences easily strike up a conversation pretty much anywhere, down to the parking lot where one of then dropped their keys. But this first easy contact may refuse to develop into a deeper, real connection, simply because it is easiest for both of then to keep things light and always go for pleasant banter. Old habits are comfortable and familiar ground is always appealing.

However, the greatest fulfilment can often be found just outside your comfort zone, in an encounter with something that is different from you.

Ten thousands things…

As an old Taoism story would have it, in the beginning the one decided to become ten thousand different things.

Why? Because it wanted to get to know and appreciate itself. Two inspiring pieces of wisdom can be learnt from this. The first one is that even things which on the surface seem different from us are.

Every person is a unique expression of the one. The second piece of wisdom is that we can always choose not to be annoyed by what is so different from us; instead we can find something to appreciate in it. We usually see things from our point view and that can create irritation and incomprehension. Take this example of two close friends: one of them has birthday macing up and the other secretly organize a picnic for her and her three best friends, in minute detail.

She already pictures the required response in their mind before she tells her friend about the surprise. But the birthday girl light-heartedly dismisses the plan: she wants to go out with a large group of friends and acquaintances.

The result is mutual disappointment and recriminations. What if the two friends had recognize each other as introverted or extroverted? Introverts live in an inner world of dreams and thoughts, but sometimes they forget to check if the outside world can go along with it. Extroverts, on the other hand, like to create an outside world in collaboration with other people. Ideas or creations aren’t finished until they have been thoroughly discussed. The extroverted friend didn’t take the picnic plan as complete idea but saw it a suggestion to be responded to in whatever way. Once the two friends understand each other and themselves better, small miracle can happen.

Try the reverse

If you get stuck inside your own introverted or extroverted tendencies, tray borrowing the behaviour of the opposite pole. Do you lean towards introversion? Then be carefree and lunch a plan that has no detail but only vague outline. Then ask others how they would complete your ideas. Are you an extrovert? Keep a plan a little longer to yourself for a change; you will be surprised how many ideas will emerge from your inner depths in social context, a person with introverted tendencies can learn from an extrovert to be a little more light-hearted and non-committal about ( making ) contacts. This will make social gatherings feel like less of a burden. An extrovert can be stimulated by the example of an introvert and try for some more depth in social contacts. Don’t let your eyes wander around the room looking for new stimulations, but stay with the conversation a bit longer. You may discover a gem that otherwise would have remained hidden to you .

The introverted friend will make sure not get too lost in a daydreams, and the extroverted one will treat her friend’s carefully hatched plan with more caution.

The secret is in the realization that other people are different, but you can put yourself in their shoes.

Opposites can cause the most friction between life partners. Nevertheless, even situations that created tensions and annoyance for years can sometimes evaporate like a cloud in the sky. This happens when the pieces of the jigsaw of introversion finally fall into place. Suppose your loved one withdraws into the study, time and again, after a frustrating day at work. If you are not aware of the idea of introversion, you may feel hurt and draw the conclusion that apparently you have nothing to offer to your partner . But if you understand that he or she is introverted by nature, you will know that an hour of lonesome daydreaming will give her or him necessary new inspiration. An extrovert will probably go looking for stimulation and company to recharge his or her batteries after bad day. As a partner, you can stay at home with an unopened bottle of wine feeling sad, but if you understand their extroverted nature, you will know they’ll get the energy they crave through a cacophony of sounds, impressions and conversations.

The miracle of admiration

In addiction to understanding other people’s behaviour, it is mainly the positiveness of appreciation that can connect you. Appreciation makes the energy between opposites flow. Even in behaviour that annoys you, there is always something big or small to appreciate.

A chatterbox show a gift for light hearted social contacts that you might want to develop. A boring and shy person may have a rich inner life.

At the core of any relationship between opposites, there is always the desire to get close . In physics as well as in relationship and sexuality, again, the energy turns out to be the most powerful; synergy, the energy created by fusion. The more you learn about understanding and playing games of introversion and extroversion and make the energy flow inside yourself and in your exchange with others. By doing this you can increasingly enjoy all the fascinating aspects the opposites have to offer.

Song or silence

You may think that a notion like spirituality is part of the introverted domain, by here too both opposites play role. An extroverted partner can teach you to chant in a group, for example; and introvert partner can introduce you to world of silence by meditating together.

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